A SMALL TOWN GIRL BORN WITH A BIG CITY MENTALITY AND THE DREAM ::

First off, contrary to popular belief, my moniker did not come after a drug.

Some of you may be familiar with the band Dope. Some of you may be familiar with bits and pieces of my friendship with some of the members of that band. Once upon a time, long long ago, I was given the nickname and it just sort of stuck around the industry. Some of you may wonder why I still keep it to this day.

Think back to a time in your life that had some sort of great impact on how you got to where you are today... or even how you became the person you are right now. It could be anything, really-- It could be the time your closest and favorite grandfather advised you to chase your dreams no matter what right before he passed away; or the time you finally woke up and realized that your parents weren't out to get you and understood that they were just looking out for your best interest; or even the time you stood up for yourself against the school bully. Whatever memory you are holding, whether it seem big or small, fact is, we all have them. We all have things happen in our lives that are meaningful to us (and sometimes only us). Sometimes nobody will ever truly understand it all except ourselves.

To try to make a long story short, some of those guys have been amazing friends to me ever since my mid-teenage years. Some of them have helped me out more than they probably even realize, and it's something I have always been proud of.

With thick skin and a high sense of motivation and determination that some amazing friends had helped me build for myself, I was ready to face my wretched hometown head-on.

I came from a small town in southeast Missouri called Poplar Bluff... but I was born with a big city mentality and that craving for bigger and better things. I am sure it's not that much different now, but back when I was living there, it wasn't exactly a place of open-minded individuals. In fact, high school was like every stereotypical teen flick you see in theaters today... including the cliche cliques.

I was the artsy social outcast of a "freak" who thought and dressed differently than everyone else. I "went against the grain," if you will. Although I had quite a few extra credits than most others in my class, and could have graduated early had I chosen to... and although I never caused a physical fight or disrupted class, was an overall good student, and all of the actual teachers loved me... it seemed like what should have really mattered, didn't. Instead, I found myself in an ongoing battle with the Board of "Education" and principals over how I dressed (even though there were no actual violations and I covered more skin than most of "the popular gals" showed off).

For the most part, I kept to myself, my passion for music, and my desire to get my foot into the music industry. Aside from schoolwork, that's pretty much all I would concentrate on. Who needed to go to some kegger full of kids who did nothing but gossip and speak negatively about you behind your back because you were "so weird" and unpopular... when you could just stay home and work on your dream instead?

I was the first person to ever bring a music column to the school paper... and by that point, I had enough resources to deliver. When that town decided to finally bring in a rock radio station, again, I had the resources to deliver. I had the knowledge of what the current rock and metal hits were... I knew what the kids wanted. Unfortunately, adults there weren't going to listen to a "kid" forever, no matter how well things were going.

Come graduation, I was ready to get out of that dying ground... but not without "going out with a bang" first, right? I actually hadn't planned on it... but I expected it. After being constantly picked on by administration for three years over how you look... you definitely expect them trying to "get the last laugh" on what is supposed to be your big day.

For those who haven't already heard the story, basically, I wasn't allowed to walk my graduation because of blue hair extensions tied into my hair at the time. Yes, blue extensions that the administration saw for themselves all day on Grad Day and never said a word about it until ten minutes before the ceremony was to begin. Ah, but I saw that coming... and by then, had already made my decision if my assumption was to come true. If they weren't going to let me walk with blue hair (even though, again, I had enough credits to graduate earlier than most of the rest of my class had I chosen to), I wouldn't walk. I knew they were expecting me to give in instead.

I still remember that day quite clearly. As I agreed not to walk and started to head over to sit in the crowd (full cap and gown, might I add), they had stopped me again, trying to talk me out of it. It was pretty ironic, if you ask me. I remember arguing with various staff of the Board of "Education" and principals... I even remember the president of the Board getting so angry with me (and even angrier since I remained calm and never raised my voice the entire time) he was turning beet red and was in my face about it all. Fellow classmates around me later told me that they thought he was going to hit me. The fact that the Dean of Students had to tell him to calm down, and not me... well, that didn't help his temper.

I remember telling them how sickening their discrimination was... and how frustrating it was that they teach students (including their own kids) to always stand up for themselves and their civil rights; to be themselves; to fight for what they believe in... and every time that someone does, they tell them to stand down. It was basically a "Believe in what you want to believe... as long as it is what we believe" type of town, and I wasn't going to stand for it any longer.

They still didn't let me walk, and I still sat loud and proud, full cap and gown, in the crowd, looking at the class of 2001 below. I remember our class commencement speaker was someone who had known me since pre-school, and as clever as she has always been, instead of choosing not to walk as well, she instead... changed her speech at the last minute. The Board was expecting a speech they had previously approved of. Instead, they got one that started out with a rant of what had just happened, and how wrong it was that the Board wasn't letting me walk just because of the color of my hair. My entire class, whether they knew me well or not, whether they had previously liked me or not, all started chanting, demanding the Board let me walk. Just as I had fought for myself before, The Board didn't give in to my class.

They didn't even call my name as a graduate which, in all honesty, despite previous events, I believe was quite unfair. I remember after the ceremony had ended, I made my way to the stage. There was no point in mailing my diploma if I was already there. I remember on my way, so many parents and members of the Army that I've never even seen before in my life, had come up to me to shake my hand. "I am proud that someone finally stood up to them," was the general consensus. I remember the vice principal trying to apologize to me as I asked for my diploma. I remember telling him, "Don't be sorry, because I'm not"... and I wasn't. To this day, I still hold no regrets for what I did.

I remember my lawyer being furious. I remember him suggesting I go after them legally.... and I remember turning down the offer. Why? Because all I wanted to do was get out of that wretched town. I was about to go away to college and I didn't want to spend my weekends going home for court issues. I remember parents calling into the local paper, complaining about how wrong it all was. I remember shortly after I left, kids started standing up for themselves a little more... and I remember one of the last times I visited my old journalism teacher, she had informed me that the school now allowed "different hair color" even on normal school days, and every time she saw a girl with pink hair, she would think of how those kids never knew how much I had paved the way for them...

...And there is nothing more gratifying than knowing you can help make a positive change on someone's life... whether it be indirectly "paving their way" through high school, or feeding the poor, or just being able to give kids the inspiration, motivation, and determination to chase after their dreams... whatever that dream may be.

Anyway, after high school, I had gone away to Columbia, MO for college for a few years... and even though I had gotten away from the small town, I still had plans on getting away from the entire state.

I attended the University of Missouri-- Columbia for three years, working for a Bachelor of Fine Arts degree when it came to a point where I felt like I had learned everything that they had to offer me at the time. I was doing more concert photography than anything back then, and when I wasn't learning anything new, I started to become bored. Everything became too easy and I needed more challenge and competition... and what better city for that than Los Angeles or New York?

Already having plenty of friends and acquaintances in L.A., I chose to move out to the west coast to further pursue my dreams. Strange enough, I ended up re-discovering my passions for graphic design and have since done more of that than photography. I also realized that I didn't want to stick to just one thing for the rest of my life... I wanted to try to find a way to "do it all."

I have been having the time of my life here, having so many opportunities thrown at me (having worked at Warner Bros. Records, working with some of my favorite musicians and songwriters, music legends, actors, comedians, traveling... for starters...) that I never would have imagined.... and I'm still the same gal with the same beliefs, fighting the same fights.

...and I'm just gettin' started.