One of my band buddies hit me up today, informing me that they are looking for a merch girl for their local shows and upcoming tours. He asked for my advice on what questions he should ask possible candidates to make sure they were truly fit for the road. This also lead into conversation on what merch girls need to know (other than the basic “Don’t fuck around” write-up I left in Martin Atkins’ Tour:Smart book a couple years ago).
My first bit of advice to my friend was that he ask these girls if they’ve even toured before, and if they have, with who and what, exactly, they were doing on the tour… because, well, it’s been my experience that a lot of girls have different ideas on what “touring” is and what it entitles. For example, a few years ago, I spent a week on Warped Tour helping out Warner Bros. Records. We were sharing half of the bus with a band and a wreckless tour manager who didn’t really know what he was doing and just wanted to party all the time. He ended up having the bus pick up these girls… and perhaps they were a part of the inspiration behind what I wrote in Tour:Smart and why it was so “dumbed down.”
I was watching these two girls prance around like pampered prom queens, always tending to their hair and makeup and nails… while I spent my time breaking sweats from loading and unloading some heavy freakin’ gear, as well as running around like crazy getting some press shots when I wasn’t helping inside the booth. Throughout the week, I noticed these girls weren’t doing much, and one day, even complained to me about how they SOOOOOO didn’t want to work the next day. I asked them what it was, exactly, that they had to do. OH NO. ALL they had to do was SIT IN THE SHADE OF A BOOTH AND SELL SHIT. They didn’t even have to load in (or out) anything themselves. At all. Nor did they have to even work the booth all day. Oh no, heaven forbid you have to sit in shade for three hours!
I also remember one morning, I was in a rush to get everything set up. I hop out of my bunk and rush to the front lounge.. to find them SITTING IN MY WAY. Who sits in the aisle doing their makeup and bitching about breaking a nail? Apparently these two chicks. I just remember thinking that they wouldn’t be able to hack it on a REAL tour job.
I also advised him to ask if they were able to load their own “gear”– or at least most of it. Let’s be real, here. There are a lot of heavy boxes and bins and sometimes displays to be carried… and usually band members aren’t going to want to fumble out of their bunks to help out. This is why there is usually a dolly… and sometimes, with a little luck, you can get the venue loaders to help out… but mostly, you’re on your own and it’s your job to figure it out.
Another thing I advised him to ask the girls is if they knew how to count in, count out, and settle with the venue. Again, touring as a merch girl isn’t all fun and games. You don’t just sell a T-shirt or two and hang with the band. You’ve got responsibilities, and some of those responsibilities include a bit of Accounting.
This soon turned into a conversation about how the merch world works.
- So typically before a tour, you take inventory of all of your merchandise. Write it all down on a master sheet. Each night, you will take a certain amount of merchandise into the venue with you to try to sell. This is where daily count sheets come in. Make sure you keep track of this; how much is each item? How many shirts of each design and size did you sell? How many CDs were sold? How many did you have during count-in, and how many do you have as you are counting out? Do the numbers add up? …because they’re supposed to.
- It’s pretty standard that the merch person gets paid in a small percentage of sales. Usually the only bands I know of who don’t do that are the big dogs who do INCREDIBLY well in merch every night to the point that if they gave their sellers a small percentage every night, they’d be making more money than the band.
- Most venues do take a cut of sales on merchandise per night. Usually it’s anywhere from 10 – 15%. Sometimes the bigger, fancier venues ask for 20 – 25%.. and sometimes something as ridiculous as 30%. Then sometimes, you will run into the venues who don’t take percentage at all; and sometimes venues who do take percentage will cut you some slack if they don’t think you’re making that much money in sales in the first place. Usually these percentages apply to CLOTH ONLY. It’s rare that a venue will take percentage on CD sales. It really all just depends on what is in the contract made with the venue, so make sure everyone is clear on that.
Well, that’s all I’ve got for now. If anyone has any other questions, you can most likely find them in “the Bible of the road,” Tour:Smart. 
[And to my friend who originally asked me for advice, best of luck to ya! Sorry I don't tour anymore, otherwise I'd be out there with you guys in a heartbeat!]
